The point on my current life, part 1; small a: "Childhood".

Greetings Peasants, I realized that I didn't introduce myself correctly. To understand the names I gave to my family (because I wasn't going to post them) you have to see the post "guide about my family" in the category "blog about my life".

As you already know, my name is Rougui Coulibaly. I'm 19 years old and I make way too many commas, parentheses, and spelling mistakes (I'm trying to fix that).

When I was little, I was with my family (my father, my mother, and my older sister). At that age, I only followed my older sister and I thought that her friends were also mine. Big mistake, it took my sister being away for a day (she was sick) for me to realize that this was not true, I was for them the cute little sister of their friend (be careful, I'm not trying to incriminate them, it's just me who thought when I was little that everything was mine). So I started to distance myself from them.

I made a new friend (Deborah). She was my first and only real friend in elementary school, why am I talking about her in the past tense? Because her parents separated and she had to move in with her mother. I wanted to talk to her mother about this, but she told me in a curt tone that "No".

Since that day, let's not lie, I look at adults who separate and have children in a bad light. I think that many people have children hoping that it will fix the couple when it doesn't, so the child (who already had a lot of responsibility before they were born) is punished instead of them (I know that many parents don't just break up for that, but I can't help but hate them for it, I'm pretty sure that if Deborah had stayed with me. My personality would have remained intact).

Along with that, I didn't feel loved by my family (except on the male side (that's why I feel more comfortable with them today) My father, my grandfather, the boy friends my family had, and my uncles) why?

Because my grandmother and my mother preferred my older sister (she had good grades, was sociable, was the first child to be born, and had her grandmother's name), for my father it was me (because I had several health problems, I preferred men so I was more stuck to him and surely I was his favorite because I had his mother's name when she died).

When it was necessary to send someone to run mini errands (because getting organized by running errands beforehand is not part of my family) it was often my favorite cousin "DNY" and I who went (they said it was every time because we are the smallest while I had another cousin "Am" who is smaller), One day, I had just arrived after several days of absence, that they sent me directly to do the shopping (without even a hello) while AM and CAD had been there for a long time...

My parents used to fight all the time over money, they always fight except this time I don't care.

When I was little it was the opposite, my sister and I used to cry about it, but the neighbors didn't do anything. We would try to get into a corner, but my mother would say that we should stay with them so that my father wouldn't use violence on her. We would call our grandmother who would come over to calm them down, she remained neutral and did not favor her daughter.

My father would get up at 4:00 am and come back around 5:00 pm. He was very tired as a result. My mother insulted him, made him sleep on the balcony, and prevented him from eating almost all the time. He would get very upset (he was very patient or passive...) and when my mother knew my father had reached his limit, she would continue, but putting us (my sister and I) in front of her so she wouldn't get attacked back. I still hate her for that. It turned out that my dad made more money than she did. But he gave his money to his family back home (his sisters). So my mother was paying for everything for us. But the worst thing was that our father asked us for money (pocket money that our mother gave us), I don't know how much money I gave him, I just know that he paid back his debt to me today.

When I became fat (because I wasn't since birth DUH), they (the women of my family except, I think because I didn't hear her voice: "Pieuse") always, tirelessly, without stopping, the same "joke": "eat the cake quickly before Rougui arrives". Always, always, always, so how do I know? I would go away from my family during our visit (at our grandmother's house, I was always in a room alone), and with their loud voices, they would make this "joke" with their loud voices and laugh out loud, and it was my best cousin "DNY" who would call me to tell me to come and eat with them.

In short, with that and several other subjects (the exorbitant favoritism that my grandmother carry out with my sister (when we made a bullshit CAD, AM and me, only me and this last one are severely reprimanded; when CAD succeeded something "example the Bac" it was impressive and when it was the others bof, it is well but without more, it was always us who were sent to make the races (very seldom CAD), when our grandmother and grandfather returned to France, she had more gift than us, ect....), their "jokes" which is more a mockery and/or harassment than anything else" and the harassment I suffered from my cousin "AM") They are really surprised that I don't come to see them anymore 🙃...

Well, the harassment I suffered from my dearest AM cousin, let's talk about it...

When we were little CAD and I, we would get picked on by Am (she would hit us, terrorize us, make fun of us (talking about our shameful memories), and steal our stuff (I even have a picture in my photo album where you see me playing with my birthday present and you see behind me, AM looking at my toys with envy, then in the next one you see me despairing and AM with my present. I still thank this adult for taking this picture rather than helping me 🙃)).

Ps: in the picture, it's not me, I'm a black girl and so is my cousin.

And guess what the adults did to help us? The answer :

Absolutely nothing 🙃

They were saying borderline that it's our fault and it's up to us to defend ourselves.

When you are harassed and not defended at all by your family, it is difficult to trust strangers, isn't it? To the classmate, to the colleague, and especially, to your "family".

So I defended myself by hitting her one day, it was a pleasure. I hate her, and you know what? Two pieces of news, one, she stopped harassing us because she also suffered from her "friends" and two, after waiting for my pain to turn into resentment and then hatred, my family asked me why I didn't like her... "after all Rougui, she's your cousin".

And also, why when I'm not well, I don't tell them anything at all,

And finally, why I don't come to see them anymore with their mockery, their favoritism, their non-assistance on the harassed people, full of other factors, and still, even when I come (because my mother obliges me to do so), the only thing they say is: "Oh sorry, I forgot you were here since you never come", anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, reproaches and just after that, they leave me in a room, without talking to me and making their "jokes".

Did I forget to mention that when he contacts me by phone, compared to others, it is just to ask for a service?

(I like this smiley very much).

Anyway, this concludes part one of "My current life update, part 1; small a: "childhood"". Soon the small b on childhood coming.

Ps: I want to say that I'm not doing this to victimize myself, I'm just saying my feelings and I'm sharing them so that either, people recognize themselves and talk about it or so that people realize that no, favoritism, exclusion, non-assistance to a person in danger and that mockery should not be part of the family and complain afterward of the consequences that it will have in future relationships. And to finish, those who will say that I am egocentric, well that's normal, we are talking about my point of view (not one of the letter carriers if you want it, ask him to open a blog).

Thank you for reading everything, have a good and pleasant day, I salute you, me, Queen of the Beggars, Rougui Coulibaly 🤗 see you soon for part b.